After my two “garden murders”, I didn´t expect to go on with that…Until I was hired again as a “hitman”.
We all have people around us, we really want to kill from time to time…But most of us subdue such feelings, or else we couldn´t life in a more or less peaceful society.
But according to psychologists, it´s only natural and healthy for the soul, to have violent thoughts sometimes… Like a kind of valve. But talking with Paracelsius: “It´s the dose, that makes the venom, so we should never go too far. No vigilante-justice in real life!
Crimewriters do it all the time…They channel their agressive feelings in a way, that´s not only good for themselves, but highly entertaining for others.
So this, my purchaser, is for you…May it calm your soul a bit and make you smile…
Curtains up!
After our first “work” together, we found out, we all enjoy “wrapping” very much!
So we founded “The Wrapping Club”. We meet every week at one of our houses and make plans about our next tasks. Most of the time, someone comes over, to ask for help….
And of course, we never reject, if we can be at service to our friends and neighbors.
So we wrapped that nice guy, who had a very interesting concept of matrimony…
We simply couldn´t stand it anymore. We heared her screaming all over the place. So we smashed a window and got in. He didn´t even hear us coming, so occupied he was…
His wife didn´t mind. Soon after we got rid of her problem, she found a nice feller from the next village and is totally happy now. Of course, we have an eye on her new mate…
We also wrapped that “birder”…He was always after a very special kind of bird…Was a big surprise, when we suddenly stood behind him, foil prepared…
Think of all the women in our little village, who can now take a sunbath in their private gardens without any unwanted “interruption”… They collected money and donated it to our club, so we could buy a big stock of hig quality foil…Just in case…
But the most satisfying case of “wrapping”, we ever had, was just a few weeks ago…
It was one of our usual meetings and we just started to enjoy our homemade pizza, when suddenly one of our neighbors came, in a state of desperation.
The story, she told, was no good.
She´d been for a walk with her young dog in the woods, when she bumped into the “witch”!
Every village has a witch, that´s for sure….But not every witch is a bad one.
But this one, definitely is…Some say, in her veins runs no blood, but venom.
One of her greatest pleasures is, to make lots of trouble and hurt other people as much as she can.
When our neighbor saw the witch coming, she stood and called her dog, but it was too late.
The young dog ran over, sniffed at the witches pant legs and then returned to his owner.
That was water on the witches mill….She got in a rage and started to scream.
She yelled at the woman, telling, she would take care for the dog to die, because it had tried to attack her!
The dog´s owner got frightened and went away, as fast as she could, while the witches curses followed her.
“What can I do?” She sure will kill my dog! The villagers say, she´s done it before, laying out poisoned baits or sneaks in the gardens to set traps there! And I can´t always be around, to protect my little one!”
We had the “witch” on our wrapping list for quite a while, not really knowing, why we never went into action about her….So we gave the poor woman some solace and the promise, to take care for her problem soon…
We kept our word, of course.
The very next day, we were waiting for the witch in a remote part of the woods.
We followed her very carefully and then passed, so we could be sure, she would come our way…
And there she came! Thinking of nothing but ways, to make life so much harder for others, like she always did and enjoying it a great deal.
We didn´t give her a chance, to go on…
We finished her off very quickly.
But after we´re done, we suddenly had the impression, that she was someone, who didn´t deserve our usual “wrap-and-dig” service, because this one had been bad to the bone. It simply didn´t feel right to waste a good amount of foil on her.
We needed something more “drastic”.
So we put her in a wheel-chair, whe had “borrowed” from one of our elderly neighbors, who was in hospital at the moment and wheeled her home through reticent pathes of the woods, ending at the border of our properties. 
“OK…We got her here…But what are we now gonna do with her? Push her in the shredder?”
“No, too much of a mess…Wait! What about giving her to BOB?”
“Wonderful! That´s perfect! Bob should get her! He sure knows, what to do with her!”
“Who´s BOB?” you might ask….”Is he a new member of the wrapping club?” Well….in a way…when we found him at the edge of the little village lake, abandoned by some idiot (We sure would have “wrapped”him too, if we knew who it was!), he was very young and small, but of course, we couldn´t let him stay there.
So we caught him and called the zoo, to take care of him.
They came and took him away….But three weeks later, we heard a splash in the pool outside- And there he was! Managed to come home….We called the zoo again…This time, he needed a bit longer to return. Almost 3 month went by, but then, one bright morning, just two days ago, he was there in the pool again!
We can´t keep him. He´s grown a lot….So we have to call the zoo again. Hopefully this time, they manage to keep him there.
But as long as he´s our guest, why shouldn´t we provide him with a very special meal….
You want to meet him?
Go, see for yourself….He´s behind the folding screen…
Of course, we don´t use the pool anymore…We didn´t like it anyway.
But Bob enjoyes it a lot. He´s a very understanding and cultivated guy for a crocodile…Has a sense of humor too. And he seems to like us. He never attacks, when we feed him and he always stays in the pool area.
So we took off her clothes and heaved her into the pool.
#Please Bob, don´t make a mess! No remaining body parts! Just be a good crocodile and eat it all up!”
But it didn´t work out, the way we expected…
” I don´t know….Something seems to be wrong…I can´t hear him splashing …Usually, he makes lots of noises, when he´s having diner….But this time, he´s so still….
“Maybe he´s enjoing this special snack very slowly?”
“No…I think, I should look after him.”
“Oh! Come quick! He´s not eating!”
What do you mean, “He´s not eating”? He´s a crocodile! He eats EVERYTHING, that comes too close!”
“But look for yourself!”
“You´re right! He´s in the most distant corner from her…Like he´s afraid! But how can that be? I´ll take the stake and push her closer. Maybe that might help!”
“And? What´s he doing?”
“That´s strange! He just took a bite, than spit it out again and agitated…Like he felt ill, after he´d bitten her. I don´t understand it!”
“Maybe people were right and she IS venomous!”
“Or he´s just a guy with strong principles! He might not take everything, we try to feed him!”
“He always did!”
“But if he won´t take her, what can we do?”
Only chance is, to go back to the good old wrapping!
So we did…Bob seemed to feel relieved, when we pulled her out again and carried her away!
This time, we took the car, while one of us stayed and monitored poor Bob, in case, he got ill!
Maybe Bob is really a crocodile with a high sense of morality …Or maybe we were just a bit to “progressive” in our attempt…We´ll never know…
We just took her to the darkest part of the woods and burried her , the way we should have done in the first place.
May she rot in peace!
No one with any sense would return a crocodile, that had just eaten a human corpse, to a zoo…It might eat its keepers, liking the human taste. And no one would keep a crocodile in his swimming pool….But this is the doll world. Many things are possible there, that never would work in reality!
