Ain´t Got No/I Got Life

“Aint´got no/ I got life” is a song, written by Nina Simone, released in 1968 and best known from the musical “Hair”,

I never really knew, if I like the song or not.

On one hand, it´s telling you, that no matter how miserable, lonely or poor your life is, its still worth living and the song gives some of the 60´s vibes, when the young generation was hoping and fighting for a better world.

But  on the other hand, the song also gave me some questions.

Is it really enough, just to be alive without love, friends, family, knowledge or a home?

Without a sense, work, a function?

There are some people, who can easily survive without perfumes, sweaters or shoes.

Some without any possessions at all.

But it´s not easy to live without some of the most important human needs like social contacts, a sense in life and a safe place to stay.

At this times, in the middle of the world wide COVID-crisis, we need save homes, a function and social contacts- even if they´re only virtual for the moment- more than ever.

And one of my self-chosen functions is, to make humble little doll-plays…Could have gone worst…

So I started working on the analysis of this song a few days ago.

Some of the lines in the song weren´t easy to bring into a picture…Mostly because I didn´t have any matching props or possibilities. (How to show a liver or a tongue at a doll without making a real big mess? And what about “ticket and token”? )

So I had to work with symbols a few times and  I´m not really completely satisfied with the result, but I did my best, as always.

Some other parts of the song´s lyrics literally “screamed” for a satire. And others, I wasn´t convinced with. So I had to bring in my own thoughts about it.

This time, I worked a lot with nude dolls…My consequence of the  parts, where we are told,  that the person in the song got no clothes, leads to the fact, that she simply must be nude….But don´t be afraid, I won´t show anything disturbing.

Another reason why, was that I wanted to focuse on the songs content in some parts and skip everything, that could distract.

The “liver” is actually a plastic steak and as you can see “made in Thailand”.

Some of the scenes are very simple, others made with more effort.

That makes sense, because some parts show the poverty of the woman, others  are about the many parts or her (and in my version also his) body. I wanted to show that as good as possible.  But also with a hint of irony sometimes.

Another question was about freedom.

Freedom is one of the most important things for a human being.

But is freedom everything, if you got nothing else?

I wanted to show, that freedom in itself might not be enough for most of us, that´s why I made the scene with the free, but homeless man. Maybe a bit hard to chew, I know.

Another point was “Nobody can take away” and “I´m going to keep it”.

It´s not our choice alone, if we can stay alive. There are illnesses, accidents or natural disasters. And far too often, other people make the decision,  to take away another humans life.

So I couldn´t agree with that and made the “gun scene”.  I wanted to be “drastic”, but didn´t go into a splatter, don´t worry.

When I had to do the parts with “arms” and “legs”, I had some pictures from showgirls in 1930´s chorus-line movies in my head. I tried, but it turned out to be a chaos instead of a straight line….The reason was the different articulation of some of my dolls. Not every doll is MTM!

Curtain´s up!

Ain´t Got No/ I Got Life

I ain´t got no home….

Got no home 1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ain´t got no shoes….

Got no shoes 2

Ain´t got no money…

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Ain´t got no class…

Got no class 4

Ain´t got no skirts….

Got no skirts 5

Ain´t got no sweater…

Got no sweater 6

Ain´t got no perfume…

Got no perfume7

Ain´t got no bed….

Got no bed 8

Ain´t got no man…

Got no man 9

Ain´t got no mother…

Got no mother 10

Ain´t got no culture…

Got no culture 11

Ain´t got no friends…

Got no friends 12

Ain´t got no schoolin´…

Got no schoolin 13

Ain´t got no love…

Got no love 14

Ain´t got no name…

Got no name 16

Ain´t got not ticket, ain´t got no token…

Got no ticket got no token 17

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ain´t got no god…

got no god 18

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hey, what have I got?

Why am I alive, anyway?

Yeah, what have I got

Nobody can take away?

Got no what do I got 19

Got my hair…

Got no got my hair 20

Got my head…

Got no got my head 21

Got my brains…

Got no Got my brains 22

Got my ears…

Got no got my ears 23

Got my eyes…

Got no got my eyes 24

Got my nose…

Got no gotmy nose 25

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Got my mouth…

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I got my smile…

Got no got my smile 27

I got my tongue…

Got no got my tongue 28

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Got my chin…

Gotno got my chin 29

Got my neck…

Got no got my neck 30

Got my boobies…

Got no got my boobies 31

Got my heart…

Got no got my heart 32

Got my soul…

Gotno got my soul 33

Got my back…

Got no got my back 34

I got my sex…

Got no I got my sex 35

I got my arms…

Got no got my arms 36

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Got my hands…

Got nogot my hands 37

Got my fingers…

Got no got my mfinders 38a

 

 

 

 

 

Got my legs…

Got no got my legs 39

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Got my feet…

Got no gotmy feet 40

Got my toes…

Got no got my toes 41

Got my liver…

Got no got my liver 42

 

 

 

 

Got my blood…

Got no got my blood 43

I´ve got life!

Got no got hte life 47

I´ve got my freedom!

Got no got my freedom 45

I´ve got life!

Got no got the life 46

I´ve got the life! And I´m going to keep it!

Got no going to keep it 48

I´ve got the life!!!! Life!!!! Liiiiihhhhhiiiiiffffeeee!

Got no got the life 49

It took 6 tries to make the “Hippie orgia-scene” at the end of the play.

Whenever I had all dolls standing in the right possition, one of them decided to fall and cause a big domino-effect. Finally I gave up trying to work completely without stands and other little helpers and tied 3 of the dolls to the bench in the middle. So they could hold the other dolls. That worked!

And now I could add on the “medias” with their cameras…

Losing my mind

I remember last year…It was a hot summer day and  a friend drove with me along the highway. We played this song and both sang along.

It´s from the musical “Follies”.

Since then, the tunes never really left my head and I finally decided, to make a play about it.

Curtains up!

“The sun comes up- I think about you”

L The Sun Comes Up

“The coffee cup- I think about you”

L The Coffee Cup

“I want you so, it´s like I´m losing my mind!”

L I want you so, it´s like I´m losing my mind

“The morning ends-I think about you”

L The Morning Ends

“I talk to friends and think about you”

L I talk to friends

“And do they know, it´s like I´m losing my mind?”

L I talk to friends 2

“All afternoon doing every little chore…”

L Every little chore 1

L every little chore 2

L Every little chore 3

“The thought of you stays bright…”

L the thought of you stays bright

“Sometimes I stand in the middle of the floor… Not going left- not going right”

L sometimes I stand in the middle of the floor

“I dim the lights and think about you”

L I dim the lights

“Spend sleepless nights to think about you”

L Spend sleepless nights

“You said you loved me…Or were you just being kind?

L you said you love me or were you just being kind

“Or am I losing… ”

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“Losing my mind…”

L Losing my mind 1

“Losing my mind….”

L Losing my mind 2

“Losing my mind…….”

L Losing my mind 3

It was a long time, since I last did something  “Art Decó”. I really missed it.

I love to work with my Jazz Age dolls-And so the Devereaux sisters, Velma and my OOAK “Phryne” had their (small) share in the play.

But for the leading lady, I chose Sybarite Magic.

She ist not only one of my favorite dolls, but also has this distant, forlorn look in her eyes,that the song requires.

She´s a bit too much of a bombshell, I know….But I decided to ignore that fact.

The musical “Follies” ist located in the 1920s, so I tried to make my play look as authentic as possible.

Some of the props are vintage, but none from the 20s…A bit Art Nouveau, some from the 1930s and a few from the 50s.

Almost all of the costumes are also made from vintage fabric, trims and lace, most of them genuine Art Decó, but again: No 1920s. But at least early 30s to 50s and some of the lace is around 1900.

Most of the clothes are made from two genuine Jazz Age sewing patterns, taken from original remaining cloth from that era. That simple patterns can endlessly be repeated in variatons of colors,  details and fabrics and each result looks totally different.

Some Art Decó designs were so popular, they didn´t change for decades and survived until the end of the 50s….And still exist in different forms until today.

So I could use my Art Decó stuff without any problem, even if it´s a bit after the Roaring Twenties.

Ok…I confess, the diner is more inspired by the Rock´n Roll era, but acutally, diners never really changed in common.

Some of the interieur and the bar is in a very similar style until today.

It´s not perfect, I confess, but I had only a few hours to set up the play, shoot and put in on my blog. (And the light was far from being perfect again!) So I hope, I´m forgiven.

And YES, there are a few folds in the backdrops….I simply couldn´t remove them, no matter how long they were under the iron!

 

Song by Stephen Sondheim from the musical “Follies”

Bathroom Pool Party

Not the best of years for a vacation at the seaside or in a club resort…We humans need to stay at home…And the dolls with us.

But dolls are creative! They know, how to enjoy themselves, so they build up their own perfect little world. A pool is included, of course!

And they invite us to their party….Curtains up!

On a sunny summer day, family and friends meet for a pool party. They grill steaks and sausages, talk about all and nothing, turn the radio on and one of the girls swims in the pool…

Bathroom Pool Party 1

“You have flippers? Great! Can I have them? Want to turn a few rounds in the pool…But before I go…Can´t you tell me, why everything for us girls always has to be PINK?”

Bathroom Pool Party 9

Finally, food is ready…

Bathroom Pool Party 2

“Hey, BanQuette!  You can´t have all the burgers for yourself! You have to share with us!”

Bathroom Pool Party 3

“Want some sausages, uncle Onslow?”
“No, thank you, my boy…I´m vegetarian, you know…BTW…Where´s the salad and vegetables?”
“Oh…I..Well… I´m afraid, we forgot them…But we have lots of Water, Lemonade and Coke! and you could get some ketchup, mustard and rolls…”

Bathroom Pool Party 7

Meanwhile, at the grill. ..There´s always a chance for a little flirt…

“I made that steak with special effort for you!”

Bathroom Pool Party 5

Nice for the girl….But grandma has her own view on things:

“Oh great! Can´t one eat her steak in peace? Always those young ones with their restless hormones…That redhead guy did a good job with the BBQ, but does that have to mean, he should flirt with my granddaughter? Hmmm…One of the others  brought him…Seems to be a friend….But didn´t she say, he´s on small girls? I really want to see, what happens when my granddaugher gets up and he finds out, how TALL she is…Kind of giraffe, like her dad…”

Bathroom Pool Party 6

“And here we go….”

Bathroom Pool Party 10

“Oops!”

Bathroom Pool Party 11

“Just like I said….I hate it to be right again! Poor girl! He might be able to handle a steak…But otherwise, he´s an idiot!”

Bathroom Pool Party 13

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Not every spark turns into a flame…But that won´t spoil the party!

Our dolls go on having fun, until the sun goes down…

Find your own little paradise inside your home, wherever it is.

Stay safe!

 

A few days ago, I saw a picture on internet, where someone had build up a party set with Barbies in a bathroom, using the lavatory as a pool. I liked the idea so much, I thought about having my own little set. And finally, I was able to do it.

It was a rainy day, so there isn´t a ray of sunlight to see at this party, but I don´t care. Nore do my dolls.

I throwed together some props from different Barbie play sets, vintage and more contemporary. Added on some of the artifical plants, I collect for years and filled “the pool” with water….Ready for the party!

And I didn´t cover the faucet on purpose. I want people to know, that´s a real bathroom and what can be done with it.

While providing the set, I found out, I didn´t have any kind of swimsuit for the girls! As if swimsuits were rare for Barbie dolls!

I really need to sew some for the next time!

Had a few swimming trunks for the guys, so that wasn´t any problem. And “uncle Onslow” could go in his cool linen pants and shirt. He hadn´t intend to go swimming anyway!

I had actually planned,  to let the girl in the pool have a few rounds in the flippers….But those are from earlier Barbie generations and the feet of the new dolls are much smaller. So the flippers didn´t fit. And they were much too small for one of the guys…Sad thing…BanQuette would have enjoyed herself,  playing Esther Williams in pink flippers…

But apart from that: Pink days are (almost) over! So please Mattel, go on producing non-pink Barbie props!  Way to go!

Another thing, I thought about, was, that none of the playsets included any healthy food .

No matter if it´s daily dishes, picnic, mini market, diner or whatever….There´s always, sausages, steaks, pizza, hot dogs or burgers. Fastfood, nothing else. Not a single piece of salat there to find… Poor dolls!

And poor vegetarian Onslow….He might stay hungry this way!

 

 

 

Love in the times of COVID

This time, it´s all about love in different ways, music, caring for others and how a life can suddenly be changed…Curtains up!

Covid Love

Hi…This is a story about finding love in the middle of COVID…Actually, it´s MY story…

A few years ago, my grandma died and I inherited her little Italian restaurant. I grew up as a child there and always loved that place.

I´d worked as a sound engineer before, but I was never really happy with that, so I didn´t think twice and became a restaurant owner!

My employes and I were like family and we had lots of regular customers…then COVID came and my little place was closed.

I had to dismiss my employes. But my family owns the house, where the restaurant is located. So there is hope for me, to re-open as soon as possible and get my staff back  But I needed money right now. The only chance was, to go back to my former profession.  Luckily, a friend gave me an part-time job at his sound studio.

He´d usually worked with professional musicians, but COVID destroyed that business too. So he had the idea, to make recordings for anyone, who wants. The idea wasn´t new. In the 1950´s, there were lots of small recording studios like that.

I couldn´t earn much this way, but I was glad for every penny, I could grab.

First I hated my new job. Most of the people, who came in, had no talent but were convinced, that they could be superstars one day.  Others were just totally weird.

I remember one good example for the “weird ones”: One day, this strange woman came in…She wore an ugly, cheep evening gown and a fake fur.

Hear her singing, was torture. Of all songs, she had chosen “My heart will go on” from “Titanic”…It was like listening to a wolf howling under the moon!

Covid Love 2

And afterwards, she dramatically collapsed on the couch in our lounge corner…I didn´t know, what to do…Call a doctor? But thank goodness, she recovered fast and left.

Covid Love 3

A few weeks later, a mother came with her young daughter. She was convinced, that her girl had an amazing talent and she would do everything, to push her career. She was the very demanding type!

Covid Love 4

I looked at the girl, and found, she wasn´t that enthusiastic. Actually, she seemed to feel very awkward.

But her mother almost pushed her on the little performing stage….

Covid Love 5

The girl had a good voice, but not good enough, to become a professional singer. And she knew it. She felt more and more embarrassed, while her mother watched her.

Covid Love 7

Aterwards, before she went back to the lounge, she told me, that she hates the clothes, her mom made her wear. She felt like a cheap Barbie doll in that mini skirt and that she doesn´t want to be a singer, but go to the university and become an engineer.

Covid Love 8

All I could do, was to wish her “good luck”!

Weeks went by and I still felt unhappy, working at the sound studio. I hated to see all those people with their hopes and dreams, knowing, they would never come true! But then, one day, I started to change my mind.

It was the day, when this fire fighter came in…She came straight from her shift and didn´t even have time to change. So she was still in her uniform, when she performed a few gospel songs.

Covid Love 9

She told me, the songs were meant for a colleague and friend of hers, that got severely injured during a mission and fell into a coma . They used to go to a church choir together and she performed his favorites songs, so his family could play them at the hospital.

She looked so sad, when she left, it made me uneasy. And I began to understand, that my work wasn´t that senseless after all…At least sometimes.

Covid Love 10

But not every recording was so sad…One day, I had twin sisters, both very “sporty”. They had lost a bet among friends and so they were forced to sing….

Covid Love 11

They gave a very funny performance! It was easy for my, to applaud. I had to repeat the recording twice, because the girls laughed much more, then they sang.

Covid Love 13

Soon after, a guy came in. Besides his daytime job, he did drag in a little club before COVID came.

Covid Love 14

I expected him to sing something saucy, but he chose a tender love song.

Covid Love 15

He told me afterwards, the song was for his husband who catched COVID and was still in hospital. The husband almost lost his life, but was recovering. But still no visits allowed, so recording a song  and hand it over to the nurses, was a way, to show his love from a distance.

And I remember that old man so well…He came, to record a song for his wife, for their 60th wedding anniversary.

Covid Love 16

I wanted to give him a chair, to make performing on the stage a bit more comfortable, but he just smiled and refused.

He had a rough voice, but full of emotions.

He said, he doesn´t know, how much time he still had and he wanted his wife to have something to remember, when he´s gone.

Covid Love 17

And then…one day, I just came back from lunch,  there was this girl, waiting in the lounge….

Covid Love 18

She looked so shy and fragile. And when I started talking to her, she jumped up and appologized for being here!  She was so nervous, I thought, she would run off. So I tried to calm her down.

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She said, she didn´t have a good voice and appologized again. Covid Love 20

I convinced her to try. And when she finally entered the stage and took off her mask, I thought, how beautiful she was.

Than she started singing. First craven, then more self-confident. Her voice was soft and low, but also strong. I felt, like I never heard something like that before.

Covid Love 21

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was like falling to my knees.

And then, I had a strange vision…I saw that girl performing on a big stage in front of thousands of people.

Covid Love 22

And suddenly, I was her only audience and she was singing just for me!

Covid Love 25

I woke up from my dream, when she went silent. I had totally forgotten, to push the right buttons to record her performance. So I stuttered something about “technical problems” and begged her, to start singing again.

She might have took me for a fool, but she said nothing and repeated her song. And while I was busy, to do it right this time, I hoped, that the song wasn´t meant for her lover.

Covid Love 27

I was strangely relieved, when she told me, it was for her mom´s birthday….

It took all my courage, to not just let her go, but ask her, from my usual “6 feet away”, if I could see her again…Maybe for a walk along the river or in the park, with a distance of course…Or just a chat on zoom…My heart sounded like a drum, while I spoke.

And then she reached out her hand in my direction and simply said “Yes!”

I still dream about going back to my grandma´s restaurant and start all over again. I want to show this girl my world and maybe, one day we will both be there, smilling and happy, when this is all over. But if I hadn´t start this job at the studio, I never would have met her….

Ok…It´s a very long story this time, but I had so many ideas for it.

The last scene with the “lovers to be”, keeping their social distance, was inspired by the famous novel “wifes and daughters” by Elizabeth Gaskell.

the book ends with the two lovers meeting, before the young man leaves for a long journey. He proposes to the heroine, and is accepted,  but isn´t allowed to come close to her, because one of his family members suffers from an infectious illness…..

It was fun to play with the sound studio and the stage. Both are from some years ago. I bought them second hand and now they´re belonging to my overflowing prop-chamber. They were actually meant for children to play, but very useful for me too….Isn´t there a child in everyone of us?

Club-Life…Then and now!

Going to a club was once so easy…You could meet with friends or go with your lover, see lots of different people there, hear the latest music and have some fun!

There was love and drama, quarreling, drinking and dancing, latest fashions and a bit of vanity (or a lot!)…The whole human spectrum. Loud and colorful.

Then the lights went out and the music became silent.

Cub 1

Now, Clubs are still closed at the moment. And when they re-open, it might be like this for a while:

Club 2

“Dancing? With masks on? Do you want me to suffocate?”

But club life will come back…We only have to be patient!

STAY SAFE!

Had only a few hours to provide the stage, but couldn´t wait any longer to work with the sound lounge.  I got it second hand a while ago, but never had time to play with it.

First thing I recognized was: It was meant for 12″ dolls…But actually, it´s a bit to low for them. The dolls can´t dance underneath the curtain-area.

Maybe the “stage” was never meant for dancing…Just to put the seat and table on and let the dolls sit there, while they listen to the music…

Second thing was: The WWE´s pumps fit my “BanQuette”! So the guy could finally have his dress and high heels !

Third thing: I don´t have any props for cocktails! So my dolls had to stay “sober”.

What do you collect?

COVID changed many things in our lifes. Some of us work from home, others have to stay in Quarantine…Time to take more care for our precious collections.

No, don´t tell me, you don´t collect…Most of us do. From common to weird things.

Some collect Asian art….

What do you collect 1

Some love everything green and blooming!

What do you collect 2

Others….Well….

What do you collect 3

And there are those, who admire the treasures of the earth….

What do you collect 4

…Oh…There might be a misunderstanding! Animals are NO collectible items! NEVER! Not even in times of COVID 19!

What do you collect 5

Other people just collect antique books and vintage musical instruments…At least those collections stay rather small…

What do you collect 8

And some are totally mad about the items, they´re interested in…

What do you collect 6

So…What do you collect????

Nightmare at the Museum

In January 2020, in a world before COVID, I visited one of the fantastic museums, we have in our capital city. Usually, I enjoy that a lot. But this time, it was weird!

The museum was empty, only a few visitors, but lots and lots of black-dressed guards hanging around, bored and looking for some distraction. So they started to follow the visitors, as soon as they entered a room, tried to make conversation and observed every move, a visitor made. Some came very close, almost touched,  when a person stopped, to look at the content of a display case.

Others exchanged secret messages with signs and gestures, when someone passed them by…It started to get a bit creepy,  I felt more and more stalked with every hall I passed, until I finally left and ran off to another museum.

But it gave me the idea for this little play….Curtains up!

NIGHTMARE AT THE MUSEUM

Nightmare at the Museum 1

You love to visit a Museum on Sundays? You enjoy artefacts and ancient art? That´s nice. But be aware, there might be hostile eyes, staring at you!

Nightmare at the Museum 2

You feel a bit awkward? So you leave the room, pass the hall to get to another section…But there are steps behind you…And you still feel the hostile eyes in your back!

Nightmare at the Museum 4

You search for shelter at the Egyptians department….Only to find some more trouble waiting there for you!

Now you have to deal with four of them. They watch your every move, don´t let you go out of their sight for just a moment!

Nightmare at the Museum 5

You pass another hallway, entering the stairs to the lower level, but the eyes still follow you. More of them have crept from the dark corners of the corridors, to join the haunting crowd.

Nightmare t the Museum 7

You walk faster, try to escape, your heart sounds like a drum…But there´s no chance! They´re like shadows, waiting until you pass and then start to follow, driven by a silent command.

You can hear their footsteps close behind you, but you´re too afraid to turn and face the chasers, because you know: There will be some more of them!

And if you stop, their steps will stop as well…

Nightmare at the Museum 8

Panic is flooding your system. You start to run. Another hall, some more shadows lurking and joyning the black crowd behind you!

Nightmare at the Museum 9

Suddenly the sound of the footsteps stop. Did they let you escape? You don´t care for the reasons! All you want right now, is to leave the museum. You chase down the stairs, desparately try to find the exit, but every door you pass, is locked.

The only possible entrance leads you to a the museums cellar and you soon realize, that you´ve been herded there.

Nightmare at the Museum 11

They wait for you down there, try to catch you…But you luckily escape and run to another room, still looking for a way out!

But do you think, they let you get away that easy?

Nightmare at the Museum 13

Another room, deeper in the old building´s dungeons. They´re waiting for you in the dark!  You climb up a platform, but this time, you can´t escape.

Nightmare at the Museum 14

They drag you down like an animal….You lose balance… the feeling of suffocation grows stronger….And then….

Nightmare at the museum 16

“Excuse me, madame…”

Nightmare at the Museum 17

“NO! LET ME GO! TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF ME!”

Nightmare at the Museum 19

“…Sorry…I didn´t mean to frighten you…We´re closing in 10 minutes and you have to leave the museum now!”

Nightmare at the Museum 20

So it was just a nightmare…One should never fall asleep in a room full of  cold-eyed statues and mumies! You leave and a few minutes later, you´re out in the open with the towns buildings, crowded places, birds singing and the wind whispering in the park trees… It was just a bad dream…Everything´s alright….

Nightmsare at the Museum 22

But is it? Is it real…….?

 

Working with narrow backdrops and 13 dolls at the same time, was a nightmare of its own.

I had to use a few stands, because some of the dolls always tipped the other ones over in a domino-effect. If you look close, you can see parts of the stands in some scenes…

Another problem wasn´t that easy to solve…A backdrop, hanging from a stand is a great pleasure to every cat in the room….And if there is more than one…Some scratches and little holes in the fabric from cat´s teeth are the result. Also stranges “bows” and uneven spots in the background of the scenes, where cat´s paws tried to explore the secrets behind the curtain, while you try to shoot…

Some dolls did a great job. I never knew, how CREEPY Brother Dreary can be, if you place him in the background and my Cullen twins and Bella were absolutely perfect!

Biggest surprise was Lee. Without a wig and in a black hood, he really looks weird!

 

 

 

Another Garden Murder!

THIS IS A SATIRE!

This time, I was hired as a “contract killer”….Yes, other people have “bad neighbors” too!

Curtains up!

You work hard all day and when you finally get home, you don´t collapse on the couch, but take care for your loved ones and work in the garden, to make your dream of a private little paradise come true.

Another Garden Murder 1

Another Garden Murder

But we have another saying here: “The devil always has his slippery tail in between!” And so he sends the “neighbors from hell”!

Another Garden Murder 4

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They lurk behind the shrubs with eyes full of hate and envy!

Another Garden Murder 5

Then they come to complain about all and everything…

Another Garden Murder 6

And if they don´t come in person, they wait until you´re outside, then open all doors and windows and turn on the radio, to drive you crazy…With hit songs and yodeling…

You take it as long as you can, but in the end, you have to run to your house and hide. But there´s no escape from the endless yodeling!  Another Garden Murder 7

So your desperation grows…And you´re looking for some help!

In a situation like this, it´s always good to have a friend who has…well…”some experience” in things like that…

Another Garden Murder 8

A person, who exactly knows, what to do…

“First, you need to buy a lot of foil!” And then…

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“…there are some jobs, better done by men!”

Another Garden Murder 10

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“…And others done by women!”

Another Garden Murder 11

“Isn´t that venomous spider lovely? I just milked it!”

Another Garden Murder 12

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“All you have to do now, is let the neighbor come close enough, to let him have our little surprise….Make sure, he won´t scream!”

Another Garden Murder 14

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Well done! It´s always good, if one does the job thoroughly!”

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“Meanwhile, your spouse will put on her best little black dress and “socialize” a bit…She´ll give the neighbor´s wife a nice “conciliation gift” and encourage her, to consume it now, before her husband comes in….That woman will be greedy enough, to take her advice. Then we just have to wait for a little while…

Another Garden Murder 13

“Success! Now all we have to do, is a good, efficient wrapping! If you don´t want a flower-stone bed in your own garden, just take the cart and wheel them into the woods! But be careful: Don´t let the surviving neighbors see you! It might give them ideas! Now you have to dig as deep as possible…And don´t forget to burry the radio as well!”

Another Garden Murder 16

” Finish your work with some lovely stones, you might find in the woods!”

Another Garden Murder 17

The yodeling became silent. Peace is back. Hopefully this time forever…Well… there is some foil left, just in case….

Supermarkets Then and Now…

Once apon a time, long ago in another world, we could go grocery shopping at the supermarket without thinking.

The biggest problems we had, was to avoid long lines at the cashpoint, not to argue with the idiot in front of us (and sometimes behind us)  and to chose the things we wanted from an overwhelming offer.

Corona Supermarkt

Corona Supermarkt 2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Say, CAN´T you pack your stuff a bit faster?”

“I can´t do magic!”

Corona Supermarkt 5

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Hey, listen girls! Can´t you stop snapping at each other and go on? I haven´t got all day!”

Corona Supermarkt 4

“DARN! I can´t find my favorite yoghurt! Do they ALWAYS have to change things?”

Corona Supermarkt 6

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“That girl behind the cash-desk lookes sweet…Maybe I ask her for a date!”

Corona Supermarkt 8

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“My legs are killing me…I hope, that schmoes at the desk are finished soon…I need to go home and lay on my couch!”

 

Well…those were glory days!

But, for the moment, they´re gone.

Curtains up for today´s shopping:

Corona Supermarkt 9

Some turned into a bunch of hamsters…And toilet paper is still more precious than gold…

Corona Supermarkt 10

“Sorry, but will there ever be toilet paper again? The shelfs are empty for the last 8 weeks!”

“How do I know? Am I a psychic?”

Corona Supermarkt 12

“I die, if I run out of coffee! And I don´t care a damn, if I´m the last one to get some in here!”

Corona Supermarkt 14

“SOAP??? What the heck should I do with soap? I need SANITIZER! Darn! Where is it?”

Corona Supermarkt 16

“Jippiiieeee! Grabbed the last pack of paper towels!”

Corona Supermarket 20

“Grandma! What are YOU doing here? Why aren´t you at home? Can´t you let ME do the shopping for you?”

“But I ran out of water!”

“And you don´t have a faucet? Or a phone to call me?”

Corona Supermarkt 18

“I want the last pack of paper tissues! Let go!”

“NO! I want it! Give it to me!”

Corona Supermarkt 13

“Well…I didn´t get those tissues, but THE LAST PACK OF SPAGHETTI!”

Once, there were times, when we didn´t have to fight over tissues or spaghetti!

But as long, as COVID rules, nothing is like it was before.

But one day, it will be over and maybe, some things will slowly go back to normal again….

STAY SAFE!

 

The Little Garden Murder

THIS IS A SATIRE!

We all know people, we really would love to kill…

In my country, we have a saying:

“The best can´t live in peace, if the bad neighbor don´t agrees!”

Garden Murder 1

 

So never feel too safe…Not even in your private backyard on a sunny summer day!

Because if your neighbor is a special one, the kind of stubborn and invasive feller, who always knows best and never gives in, no matter how wrong he is…Then you might be in trouble.

Garden Murder 2

He comes uninvited, creeping through the shrubs, walking into your garden, like it´s his own property. And why? Well… only to kill your nerves and complain endlessly about everything you do!

You´re not neat enough, your garden isn´t tidy the way he wants it to be, your house should be more proper and you should be a much, much better housekeeper…

Garden Murder 3

 

Whatever you tell him, he won´t listen, none of your points are important to him. He just goes on grabbing.

Garden Murder 4

He won´t even keep his distance or respects your privacy!

Garden Murder 5

 

He makes you feel threatened and awkward!

Garden Murder 14

Until you finally run to your house for shelter!

And even then, you can hear him deplore in your back!

But do you always have to run? Always being the one, who gives in? Isn´t there another way to get rid of the problem?

Oh, YES! There IS!

Garden Murder 6

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Garden tools can be very versatile!

Garden Murder 7

 

But what to do afterwards? You need to tidy up…just the way, he always told you to do!

Garden Murder 9

 

You might need the saw…

Garden Murder 10

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But acctually it´s much better to just wrap…

Garden Murder 11

 

…and dig!

Garden Murder 12

 

And then make a nice stone bed and plant some lovely flowers!

Garden Murder 13

 

Peace is back…But not for long. The next bad neighbor lurkes around the corner…So keep your tools ready! You might need them again!